January 2012
My new years resolution is to stop talking to anyone who asks me what my new years resolution is.
December 2011
I am both offended and relieved no one invited me to anything tonight.
“Yes!! Russel brand is single!!!!!” -no one
chineseripoff asked: i blew up yo dash feed with mai luv. not sorry. and another thing, good job on your 4.20 posts, they are of the highest caliber. -sincerely guy on the interwebs
chick-n-dinner asked: i cannot stop laughing at everything you post.
I can tell a party is going to suck if im invited.
I think the smartest, most original thing a person can say around this time is “ill see you next year!” as youre saying goodbye.
My boss just told me he wish I died on the Titanic.
“roses are black, violets are black” -blind person poem
After I eat a Twix ice cream bar, I go on facebook and look at that guy who talked to me once.
Nice try, every table that isnt the closest to the buffet.
Nothing a Kayla says will ever matter
Close calls with brick walls.
